American Idol, a New Look, a New Judge

America needs me, American Idol really needs me. I’d love to be the next judge on one the hottest shows on Television. I understand music as well as anybody. I get how they want to market and pimp these kids to make money, and I am fully capable to be brutally honest. I’d guarantee that only singers that can truly sing will be in on the show. Since the departure of Simon Cowell the show needs an edgy, honest, and slightly offensive judge. I can do that and I will also add sarcasm, humor and a great ear for music. I know what is good and what it crap. I watch the show, I’m not afraid to admit it. I love music so I will give everybody a fair chance, but if you just can’t sing there is no reason to waste my time. Let’s change the format a little, let’s not do so many covers, 95% of the time the songs end up sounding like a karaoke hour at a camp for the deaf. The Idols should come prepared to sing a few covers but mostly their own music. I know it would be harder to find, the quality would improve, and that’s what it’s all about. If I wanted to hear somebody sing a tone deaf version of an Elton John song I will sing it myself. If I were to judge;  I’d work these kids like my drill sergeants did in basic training, break them down and build them up.

I want to hear real singers sing their own songs, you can’t hide emotions in your own music, and that my friends is really what music is all about, EMOTION. These singers ACT like they understand the songs and what it meant to the artist that wrote them. I’ve heard some amazing covers in my time, for example Jeff Buckley singing Porter Wagner’s country hit “Satisfied Mind”, or Mike Doughty making “Real Love” sound and feel nothing like the Mary J. Blige version. The way it stands they should change the name to Top Karaoke Idol until I’m a judge. Damn sing your own stuff, make me feel your song, and then maybe we will find the next American Idol. I promise if I’m a judge acts like Ruben Studdard, Fantasia, and Taylor Hicks would never have won. It’s a competition for best singer, but it turns into a contest as to who is more popular with the kids. I say we let fans vote but give me the final say, I would revamp the entire system, I’d still show the bad auditions (it is amusing) and I would keep the whole ticket to Hollywood, because it reminds me of Charlie and Chocolate factory. I would demand new judges all around. You want people that know and love music, and judges that cover all types of music, so I’d go with this line up Joshua L. Ott III, Rick Rubin, P.J. Bloom, and Whitney Houston. Why these selections you ask? ME: I’m me, Rick Rubin: this just makes hits, P.J. Bloom: one of the best Music Supervisors around, and Whitney: well she is Whitney.

Maybe then we could truly find an AMERICAN IDOL.