The Bachelor

Dwight Howard (12) being guarded by Aron Baynes in the 2013 NBA Playoffs (photo USA TODAY Sports / Richard Mackson)

“I’m taking my talents to South Beach.” “Not two, not three, not four, not five, not six …” Three years later those two phrases still haunt the citizens of Northeast Ohio and Cleveland Cavaliers fans everywhere. Though I’m a Philadelphia 76ers fan, I’ve always loved the Cavs and admired the relationship between Cleveland and LeBron James; I have the blue 23 jersey to prove it.

I loved the Cavs like a brother, a close best friend. The relationship the Cavs had with LeBron was special. They were high school sweethearts and I was their biggest fan. For 8 years they had their ups and downs and were engaged. I really thought it would work out, but at the last minute LeBron eloped to Miami with Chris Bosh and Dwayne Wade and the Cavs were crushed. Though I wasn’t the one left at the altar I couldn’t help but pour out my heart for Cleveland. To this day the Cavs aren’t the same as what they were LeBron left them, but I still root Cleveland will one day find true happiness.

As the Cavs continue to mend a broken heart we witness another eligible player’s decision to be made, but it doesn’t feel quite the same. Dwight David Howard was a shy youngster out of Atlanta when the Orlando Magic gave him a chance. And though Dwight is considered to be the hot commodity as he weighs his options and looks to leave the Los Angeles Lakers in the dust, no one feels bad for L.A. Maybe it’s because of the 16 rings. Maybe it’s because the Lakers can get whoever they want. Whatever the reason, no one feels bad for L.A. as the Lakers are likely to be left behind by Dwight.

Let’s not forget that Dwight is probably ten times more diabolical than LeBron. They’re both dime pieces, that’s not a debate. But Dwight has gone from a shy 18-year-old to a schemer hiding behind that phony shyness and his not-so-innocent smile. When asked for years leading up to the big date if he “liked, liked” Orlando he simply giggled and said, “I don’t know, maybe.” The Magic just wanted commitment and figured enough was enough and sent Dwight packing to L.A.

The Lakers have it all: other superstars, the money, the history and overall just the looks of a franchise anyone should be so lucky to be with. Instead, Dwight is looking through his other options. I honestly don’t know what made Dwight think he could do better. Did he watch too many movies with happy endings expecting nothing but gumdrops and ice cream? Did he really suffer that much in his previous relationship with Orlando and wants things to go exactly his way (again)? Did his parents tell him no one would ever be good enough for him? I don’t know.

What I do know is that Dwight, like LeBron, is acting like a prima donna and seems to be extremely spoiled. We know he has talent, but he seems to be a high maintenance headache. He, like LeBron, wants everyone’s attention and just wants to be loved. Hopefully Dwight was paying attention to LeBron and develops a thick skin; not everyone will like someone that bounces around from team to team on his own accord. Dwight is facing playing for three teams in as many years. Dwight will find success no matter where he goes, he’s too talented not to. I, just like many others, hope he stops acting like a teenage girl picking a movie and makes up his mind. You can’t make everyone happy, Dwight, so be decisive and let’s get on with our lives.