NFL JJ Rankings

The Bengals defense has been dominant to open 2014 as Jake Locker (10) and the Tennessee Titans found out in week three. Darqueze Dennard hammers Locker. (USA TODAY Sports / Aaron Doster)

F_ _ k NFL power rankings!

This is the first of edition of the JJ Rankings. While most major outlets waste our time ranking teams in the early weeks of the season, I reserve judgment until the first month is complete. How do sites like ESPN and CBS rank teams in the preseason or after Week 1? Is it based on last year? On free agency? On unproven drafted players? I prefer to abide by the eye test. So based on my keen eye, this is what I’ve seen after the first four weeks of the season:

1.  Cincinnati (3-0)

• The most complete team in the NFL. Dominant defense. Balanced with weapons in the backfield and on the outside

2. Seattle (2-1)

• Take away a loss in 100 degree heat, and they look like legitimate contenders to repeat

3. Denver (2-1)

• An OT loss in Seattle is nothing to hang your head about. Peyton Manning is ageless

4. Arizona (3-0)

• Bruce Arians is the most underrated coach in the NFL. No Carson Palmer, Darnell Dockett, or Karlos Dansby and they still keep on surprising

5. San Diego (3-1)

• Imagine if this team had a running game. Sheesh

6. Baltimore (3-1)

• A seven point loss to the Bengals is nothing to be ashamed of. Steve Smith may be one of the biggest steals of the offseason

7. Detroit (3-1)

• Bigger surprise? The fact that the Lions are 3-1, or the fact that their defense ranks #1 in the NFL?

8. San Francisco (2-2)

• Colin Kaepernick is overrated, but the rest of the team is scary. And to think they get Navarro Bowman and Aldon Smith back at the midpoint….

9. Philadelphia (3-1)

• The defense is a real question, and where has Shady McCoy gone? Good thing Darren Sproles has filled his shoes nicely

10. Indianapolis (2-2)

• Close road losses to Denver and Phili keep them in the top 10. One could argue that Andrew Luck has been the best QB in the NFL so far

11. Green Bay (2-2)

• Offensive line may get Aaron Rodgers killed, but they really came into their own on the road at Chicago. Let’s see if they can keep it going

12. Chicago (2-2)

• The secondary is thinner than a coke whore. Jay Cutler could be great, but is….Jay Cutler. But with Alshon Jeffrey, Brandon Marshall, and Matt Forte, anything is possible

13. Kansas City (2-2)

• After an embarrassing loss to Tennessee, the Chiefs have righted the ship. Just ask the Patriots about the can of whoop ass sprayed on them

14. Dallas (3-1)

• The only quality team on their schedule beat them handily. If DeMarco Murray can continue to carry this team, there may be fire to this smoke

15. Carolina (2-2)

• A quality win over Detroit is the only thing the Panthers have to hang their hat on. The last two drubbings are concerning. Where is the dominant defense we heard so much about in the preseason?

16. Atlanta (2-2)

• Can you say Jekyll and Hyde? Or is it more home and road?

17. New York Giants (2-2)

• Amazing what happens when you stop turning the ball over. Now let’s see them do it against a decent team

18. Pittsburgh (2-2)

• This team has played three good quarters of football. Take that away, and they are 0-4

19. Houston (3-1)

• Beneficiaries of one of the easiest schedules in football. Talk to me four games from now. If they are 6-2, I’ll eat crow

20. Miami (2-2)

• That win against New England is looking less and less impressive. And my high school alma mater could beat Oakland. Joe Philbin is not head coach material

21. New England (2-2)

• Starting to realize Bill Belichick isn’t as good at evaluating talent as everyone thought he was. Tom Brady has carried this team for a decade, and he is getting a bit long in the tooth

22. Minnesota (2-2)

• Pretty impressive win against Atlanta. It’s Teddy Bridgewater time now

23. Buffalo (2-2)

• It’s never a good sign when your coach benches his first round draft QB for Kyle Orton

24. Washington (1-3)

• Nothing has looked especially good, minus a stomping of Jacksonville. So in other words, nothing has looked impressive

25. Cleveland (1-2)

• The Browns are a two minute drill miracle against Rob Ryan’s dysfunctional defense away from being 0-3

26. New Orleans (1-3)

• This team was thought of as a threat to Seattle for the NFC championship. Whoops. How Rob Ryan keeps getting jobs is beyond me

27. Tampa Bay (1-3)

• Perhaps a road win at Pittsburgh gets the Bucs on track. Too much talent to be this low on the list

28. St Louis (1-2)

• It would be interesting to see where this team would be if Sam Bradford wasn’t Mr Glass from Unbreakable

29. New York Jets (1-3)

• Does Geno Smith know the object of football is to score touchdowns, not kick field goals?

30. Tennessee (1-3)

• Another trendy preseason “surprise” pick. I’m surprised Jake Locker keeps getting starting jobs

31. Jacksonville (0-4)

• Blake Bortles offers a glimmer of hope for the future. Unfortunately, it will take years for the rest of the roster to catch up
• 32. Oakland (0-4)
  • What more do I need to say? It’s Oakland