WEEK 7 JJ Ranks ’em

By on October 21, 2014
The All-time NFL  leader in TD passes has the Denver Broncos at the top with a masterful Sunday nighter (photo Ron Chenoy / USA TODAY Sports)

The All-time NFL leader in TD passes has the Denver Broncos at the top with a masterful Sunday nighter (photo Ron Chenoy / USA TODAY Sports)

After another week in the books, the NFL continues to throw curveballs at its fans. The Seahawks seem to be falling apart, after trading Percy Harvin and falling to the Rams. The Bills pulled off a last second win, but lost their entire starting backfield. The Cowboys continued to take the league by storm. Detroit made field goals. Jacksonville won. What the fuck is going on here? At least there is one thing we can count on. In case you haven’t heard, Peyton Manning is good. Really good. It is within the realm of possibility that he tops 600 touchdown passes before he hangs up his pads. It helps to have a man like that under center. It’s no coincidence that the Broncos sit at #1 in this week’s JJ Rankings :

1)       Denver (5-1)

  • The addition of Emmanuel Sanders and the emergence of Ronnie Hillman have made the Broncos’ offense almost unstoppable. Another week, another Peyton Manning milestone

2)       Dallas (6-1)

  • Amazing how efficient Tony Romo looks with DeMarco Murray carrying this offense. Given how historically bad they were last year, I think Murray may be carrying the defense also

3)       Indianapolis (5-2)

  • Remember when the Colts defense gave up 44 points to Kansas City in the playoffs last year? Cincinnati doesn’t. If the defense plays this well every week, the AFC should be scared

4)       Philadelphia (5-1)

  • Next week’s match up against Arizona will tell a lot about this Eagles team

5)       Arizona (5-1)

  • The Cardinals offense looks so much more balanced with Carson Palmer back under center. Will the nerve in his shoulder rear its ugly head again?

6)       Baltimore (5-2)

  • The Ravens rank in the top 10 in the league in scoring offense and scoring defense. Rarely do they enjoy such balance

7)       Green Bay (5-2)

  • Another week, another clinic by Aaron Rodgers. Were the Packers that good, or were the Panthers that bad?

8)       San Diego (5-2)

  • The Chargers flirted with disaster last week against the Raiders. This week, the Chiefs bit them in the ass

9)       Detroit (5-2)

  • Someone needs to explain to Matthew Stafford that welcoming someone in his home doesn’t require giving gifts in the form of throwing interceptions

10)   New England (5-2)

  • Looks like Tom Brady is going to be running a lot of empty back sets. Shane Vereen is a better receiving threat than a tailback

11)   San Francisco (4-3)

  • Yeah, they got blown out in Denver. But what did you think was going to happen when they marched a MASH unit on the field against Peyton Manning? When this defense gets healthy, they are going to be a pain in the ass for the NFC

12)   Kansas City (3-3)

  • Great road win against San Diego. The Chiefs are the AFC equivalent of the Arizona Cardinals: overachieving despite huge injuries on defense

13)   Seattle (3-3)

  • What a dysfunctional week for the Seahawks. First, the Percy Harvin fiasco, then allowing  their special teams to lose the game to the Rams

14)   Miami (3-3)

  • If it weren’t for a last second loss to Green Bay last week, the Dolphins would be 4-2 and breathing down the Patriots’ neck

15)   Cincinnati (3-2-1)

  • If any Bengals player should have received a $100 million extension, it should have been AJ Green. Andy Dalton is living proof that you can never trust a ginger

16)   Pittsburgh (4-3)

  • The next time the Steelers play a complete game will be the first time this season. Antonio Brown is the most underrated receiver in the NFL

17)   Carolina (3-3-1)

  • The defense has been so disappointing. It looked like Green Bay was playing 7 on 7 Sunday

18)   Buffalo (4-3)

  • A shame for this team that they lost Fred Jackson and CJ Spiller for an extended period of time. Sammy Watkins is the offensive rookie of the year. No matter who the Browns get with their draft pick next year, the Bills pillaged them

19)   Houston (3-4)

  • The Texans played 57 minutes of decent football against the Steelers. About those other 3 minutes….

20)   Cleveland (3-3)

  • Remember last week when I said if the Browns are legit, they should be 6-2 after the upcoming three week stretch? Yeah..well…the real Browns showed up in Jacksonville. Let’s see if they can’t give two teams their first win of the season two weeks in a row

21)   St Louis (2-4)

  • A few close losses to quality teams in the recent weeks, backed up by a surprise win over the world champs gives Rams fans a glimmer of hope. Now if people would just stop rioting outside of the fucking stadium

22)   New Orleans (2-4)

  • The Saints are mistaking the 4th quarter for the French Quarter, because they look drunk at closing time. How Rob Ryan keeps getting jobs in the NFL is a mystery

23)   Chicago (3-4)

  • 0-3 at home and Brandon Marshall calling players out in post-game press conferences is not a recipe for success. Queue Jay Cutler’s powty face

24)   New York Giants (3-4)

  • Few things in the NFL are more entertaining than watching the baffled looks on Eli Manning’s face when things aren’t going well. Lots of baffled looks lately

25)   Atlanta (2-5)

  • If you would have told me before the start of the season that the Falcons’ offense was going to be this bad, I never would have believed you. They need Viagra, because they are impotent

26)   Washington (2-5)

  • You know you’ve got problems at quarterback when you bring in Colt McCoy from the bullpen

27)   Minnesota (2-5)

  • Cordarrelle Patterson has to touch the ball more. I’ll be politically correct and say the Vikings’ offense rides the short bus

28)   New York Jets (1-6)

  • Geno Smith played his best game of the year against the Patriots, and Chris Ivory continues to punish defenders. Maybe Percy Harvin can give the Jets the offensive weapon they so sorely need

29)   Tennessee (2-5)

  • First, Charlie Whitehurst leads the Titans to a historic loss after leading by 25. As an encore, he gets outdone by Colt McCoy. Well done Charlie. Well done

30)   Jacksonville (1-6)

  • Impressive win for the Jags. But beating the Browns only moves you up two spots in the power rankings. Because ya know, they’re the Browns

31)   Tampa Bay (1-5)

  • The Bucs front office got an extra week to ponder why the fuck they hired Lovie Smith

32)   Oakland (0-6)

  • That’s all I can do for Raiders fans is keep pointing out that Derek Carr looks promising. Aside from that, I’ve got nothing else


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