Josh’s NCAA Power Rankings (That You’ll Love!)

By on August 11, 2010

1. THE OHIO STATE UNIVERSITY BUCKEYES: Do not question my Authority!

2. Ole Miss Rebels: Tailgating is a rite of passage at THE GROVE, fans start setting up the Thursday before the game. If you are a fan of Drinking, Food, Drinking, and Football you may want to get to Ole Miss.

3. Iowa Hawkeyes: Any school that makes the opposing teams dress in a PINK locker room has to be at the top.

4. South Carolina Gamecocks: Mascot is named COCKY, the field is called THE COCK PIT, and they have Steve Spurrier… COCKY!

5. Arizona State Sun Devils: Have you seen the GIRLS that go to school here? If not, jump on facebook, myspace or any other public forum and make friends with them.

6. Georgia Bulldogs: UGA, the lovable bulldog mascot has anger issues and actually has tried to attack a few opposing players in the past.

7. Auburn Tigers: The WAR EAGLE entrance is a bad ass sight, an eagle swooping around Jordan-Hare stadium is a must see.

8. Clemson Tigers: The historic “HILL RUN” is one of those sights that make you say “WTF?” You have the entire team of suited up football players running down a hill at top speed… I’m still waiting for the first guy to trip and cause a train wreck.

9. Syracuse Orange: COACH DOUG MARRONE fired about ½ of the staff when he took over and so far 29 players have quit. He is the Coach and you live by his rules. COACH MARRONE is true throwback coach.

1.0 Penn State Nittany Lions: JOE PATERNO has been the head coach here for 44 years, the stadium was built in 1909 and is still one of the largest. I think Joe may have helped build Beaver Stadium.

11. Florida Gators: The SWAMP, one of the hardest places to play. Oh and the CHEERLEADERS are nice!

12. Oregon Ducks: AUTZEN STADIUM  is the loudest stadium per capita in NCAA 1A, you just have to admire a team that can wear such ridiculous jerseys and they too have some fantastic cheerleaders.

13. Army Black Knights: Where else can you see a SKY DIVING TEAM  hand off the game ball before each home game?

14. Tennessee Volunteers: They LOST LANE KIFFEN and this catapults them into the top 25.

15. Hawaii Warriors: It’s HAWAII! The HAKAa is great way to start a game!

16. Alabama Crimson Tide: HOUNDSTOOTH BAR has 40+ HD flat screen televisions. They have thought of everything and even put some up in the bathrooms so you don’t miss a play!

17. Kentucky Wildcats: COACH JOKER PHILLIPS. A football coach named JOKER, that’s an oxymoron.

18. Virginia Tech Hokies: The team comes out on the field while Metallica “ENTER SANDMAN” is pumping out of the P.A. system.

19. Florida State Seminoles: BOBBY BOWDEN is gone and JIMBO FISHER takes the lead, Now Bobby has time to cruise on his golf cart and drink some Keystone Ice.

20. Vanderbilt Commodores: The lowest paid coaching staff in the largest money making conference.

21. Texas Longhorns: Mack Brown makes OVER $5 MILLION a year; I hope all that money helps him pay off recruits.

22. Boise State Broncos: You have to LOVE the BLUE field.

23. Wisconsin Badgers: For a school that loves to binge drink and party they still have a lot of class come the end of the 3rd quarter; when the crowd stands up and they jump up, jump up and get down to the HOUSE OF PAIN and their one hit wonder “JUMP AROUND”

24. University of Southern Florida Bulls: SKIP HOLTZ, son of a legend is a good reason but not the top one. And no the pregame show the marching band puts on is not the main reason either, although a good one. It’s always hot and humid and watching a group of cheerleaders bounce around will always help your power rankings.

25. Oregon State Beavers: I want South Carolina to play the Beavers in a bowl game:  headlines, “COCKS destroy BEAVERS!”

You will notice some teams were left off:

USC Trojans: LANE KIFFIN…. Enough said, if still in doubt ask the Raiders, and the Volunteers or Kory Kepner.

Notre Dame Fighting Irish: I wonder if BRIAN KELLY will leave them before the biggest game of the schools career?

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